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Why I'm Glad I'm Not a Woman


There are many things about women that I am attracted to. They're more conversational than men. They're better listeners. They're very compassionate. They're industrious. They can carry a kid on each hip and do ridiculously difficult tasks at the same time. When they get sick, they continue taking care of others. We men, on the other hand, crawl under a blanket and moan as if we only have 24 hours to live. "But honey," you will say, "It's just a cold." "A cold!" we reply indignantly. "It's surely the flu and it's the worst case of the flu since Uncle Henry died from it in 1983!"

Men go to the doctor all the time. Most women go about 11 times in a lifetime. Too much to do. Too many people to take care of. Oh, I know there are exceptions. I know some intractable female hypochondriacs, to be sure. But most aren't. They're as resilient as an eagle flying into the wind; they just soar higher.

Having said these things, I'm glad I'm not a woman. Here's the primary reason: I wouldn't want to spend much of my life having to "look" a certain way in order to feel good about myself and/or meet other people's approval. I hate it that we live in a world that defines beauty by external appearances. I wouldn't want to wear makeup every day if I felt that "looking beautiful" was necessary for acceptance or success. I would hate to feel compelled to "look my best" for people I don't even know or respect. I wouldn't want to choose my clothes on the basis of how they do or don't accent my figure, or whether or not it's a "good color" on me. I wouldn't like being flirted with by total strangers; much less by male peers at work, especially those up the "ladder of power." I wouldn't want to be resented by people who think that maternity leave is just a "burden that the company will have to bear." Where dumb things are said like, "Soon it'll be over and she'll be back to work where she belongs." I don't like how men diminish women, or discount them from being "qualified" for equal tasks. I wouldn't like having to prove myself at things that men are given a pass for. I wouldn't appreciate being thought of as unintelligent unless I was a chemist, engineer or computer programmer...rather than "just" a school teacher or homemaker. That last one would really tick me off.

If I were a woman, I'd hate worrying about how my hair looks, or nails look, or skin looks, or whether or not my legs were fat or thin, or whether or not my hands or feet were chunky or sleek. I'd hate watching all the air-brushed people on television and movies, knowing that I could never be as "perfect" as that. I'd hate playing all the social media "games" too that are built on making others feel inadequate in all of the areas mentioned above.

I could be wrong, but men just don't have to deal with this kind of crap. (That's the closest you'll ever hear me get to using a cuss word)! Oh, I suppose there are a lot of men who worship their bodies as much as women (and yes, that's sad too)...but in general, there's no comparison. In "male" world you can have a beer gut and it's perfectly acceptable, but show me a woman with any kind of gut and I'll show you someone who will be the brunt of sarcasm, gossip or who knows what else?

Ladies, I admire you. To live your life must be exhausting. But can I lean in for a minute and give some advice? Here it is: please stop playing this perpetual and impossible game of "looking okay." If you're doing it because you want to do it, hey, more power to you, but if you're doing it because you have to do it, that's profoundly sad.

You deserve more from yourself. And how will you ever be able to find the time to cultivate the things of the heart...the things that make you mysterious and interesting and far superior to us males. The Bible calls it "inner" beauty. And it really is quite attractive (my wife has it in spades). And if a guy doesn't find inner beauty attractive, well, you're probably dating (or pursuing) the wrong guy. You can do better. Much better. And you deserve more. Much more.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, really. I'm not looking for commentary on this. I guess I'm just bemoaning what the world has come to...and I'm wondering if/when it will stop.

You don't have to be "sexy" (I would hope that would be an insult). You don't have to look "fabulous." You don't have to get guys to "turn their heads." You don't have to measure up to anyone's expectations but yours and God's. And guess what? He loves you unconditionally. Maybe it's time to do the same thing for yourself.


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Lexington, Kentucky
(Opinions expressed here are solely my own and do not reflect the views or opinions of my employer.)

©2019 by Gary is Thinking.